I cannot believe how hard it is to find a job. I ask myself: "Are you doing all you can? Should you be trying something new?" I don't know. I thought I was trying something new when I went into Education. Obviously the field is not wanting people as much as they said they were. There are way too many of us without full time teaching jobs for them to be too desperate for teachers. If we choose to go into another field to have work, we risk no one knowing us and making it even harder to find work as a teacher. Some of us have even been offered work at schools not as teachers. I guess the principals could be trying to be helpful. I think maybe they are trying to have an extra teacher or two on staff "just in case" for 20K a year less. Sort of insulting is what it really is. I am a teacher. I went to school and paid for my tuition in loans that must be repaid. I was not lucky enough to get any "free" money from the government to go to school. I need a full time job in my profession!
I went to an interview today for a temporary (or interim) teaching job for 1st Grade. It seemed like everything was going well and then poof! I got the distinct feeling it went South (and not in the good way). I don't know why. I don't know where it went wrong. I have replayed it over and over and I can't figure it out. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to see it. Going to sleep now and very sad.
Nope. Next day and still confused and depressed...
Still sad and cannot understand why I am having trouble unless it has to do with a) my age, or. . . b) . . . . my age. Of course it is illegal to discriminate against someone because of their age so there is nothing they would say to me, but it seems like whenever it comes around to mentioning family and the fact that I have "grandchildren" (something you would think could actually be a positive thing) the conversation goes wonky and trails away. Same thing happens if anyone asks about why I would want to leave nursing, or if I mention I have had cancer. Sorry folks, it is true. I survived when the odds were against me and I am not about to apologize to anyone because of it.
I have resolved therefore that the next time I have an interview for a full time or interim position I will, a) not mention the fact I have a family, b) not ever mention the fact I had a career prior to teaching (if they bring it up that damned ADN, I will say, "Yes I was a nurse. It is a noble and caring profession. I found myself able to stay at home and raise my daughter so I did. When she was in high school I went back to college to become what I always wanted to be, was always called to be: a teacher."), and I will never, never, never mention I was sick with cancer. They don't want to know I survived. They look at me like I am some sort of freak because I did not die. Screw them. They don't deserve to know. It is my and my family’s miracle, not theirs. It is not their business. They cannot ask and I will not tell. I'm tired of crap beyond my control being held against me. I am no more likely to die tomorrow than the next person.
Wow! I'm so tired of the hypocrisy of the schools. I'm good enough to sub for you, to fill in when your 30 year old teacher has to stay home with her sick kid, her sick mother, or her sick husband, or her sick dog, but I am not good enough to work in your school in my own classroom. My parents are both dead, my husband's are too, so I won't have to take leave to care for them or go to their funerals. My children are grown so they pretty much can deal with the world on their own with minimal (they like it that way) influence from me. My husband has been working his ass off for years and would love it if I had a full time job so he could actually take some of that 5 weeks’ vacation he has every year and do some home projects. One day we will get around to a vacation - just the two of us. But that will be a summer or spring break type of thing.
I'm a good teacher. I can teach children how to read, how to do math, how to explore their world and understand their community and their history. I can teach them manners they will be proud to display for their parents. I can teach them not just what we do, but why we do it. It matters people - I want to know why I have to walk down the right side of the hall. They deserve no less. I am a good teacher. I want a chance to prove it. I want to teach in my own classroom of imperfect young people and help them to become the best people they can be. I want the chance to enrich their lives at least as much as they enrich mine.
I did it right. I went to school to get my degree. I could have subbed without ever going back to school and made $60 a day. You know anyone's Mama can sub if they have at least a GED and get paid $60 a day. I don't make but $90 a day for substituting now (definitely not worth what a Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education cost me). I could have been a paraprofessional or "classroom aide" without ever going back to college (I had an Associate’s Degree and that is all it takes) and made $15,000 a year (worked my behind off for it for sure). Teaching pay here only begins at 36K a year. I'm sure I could have gotten a degree in something else that pays better, accounting or something. I am good with math and numbers. What I am trying to get across is I'm not in teaching for the money. I'm not in it for the summers. I'm not in it because I was a "bored housewife" wanting a diversion and thumbed noses to everyone who thinks so.
I became a teacher simply because I want to make a difference. Coming close to dying gets you understanding what matters in the world. I want to be the person a child remembers helped him or her understand a concept they struggled with. Something that when they finally did get it, helped them make a little more sense of their world. I'm in Education, for the children who need people that give a damn whether they learn to read, write, or understand the world and how it works. I am a teacher because I want to make a difference in the lives of children. Children are the only future we have. We have to teach them well. We have to teach them how to make a difference in their world. I just want the chance to do that. I don’t think that is too much to ask. Would somebody here please give me a chance?
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